


Chicken meet Egg

by orphan_account



Category: Dark (Netflix)
Genre: I know - crack ship! - Freeform, M/M, but hear me out
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-16 23:04:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13064037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: What came first?OrUlrich and Helge have been inadvertently haunting each other's lives. Ulrich discovers the truth.





	1. Helge

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/helgerich Follow me on tumblr - if you're so inclined :)

 

 

 

The first time Helge met Ulrich - it was this - the dark shadow of a man standing over him, blotting out the sun.

Rough, impossibly large hands wrapping around his arms - tight enough for bruises - and pushing him down. Pressing him into dirt.

Then the stone.

Helge still remembers the look on his face as he raised the stone above his head. The righteous anger.

Helge remembers the stone raining down over and over again.

His own soft, little hands coming up to try and shield.

He'd felt tiny against the giant of the man pinning him.

It wasn't the last time Ulrich made Helge feel tiny.

 

 

 

If not for Ulrich, Helge would never have met Noah.

The Father was everywhere - past, present and future.

After the stone, after Ulrich had abandoned him in that room, came the riff.

And it was both of those things - the terror of Ulrich's murder attempt and the sheer awe of time folding open before his eyes - that changed Helge's life equally and unequivocally.

It seemed forever he was chasing space. Forever he was running from the mad man.

Father Noah folded Helge in his arms and kept him in his bosom where his cold mother had not. And always - Noah had said - to the betterment of something greater than them both.

Helge had truly believed they could fix it once they found the key.

He'd taken the murder room of his nightmares and wallpapered it over in calm and innocent blue. Had made toys for the children and had carefully made their meals. He hadn't wanted them to feel like he'd felt. Noah hadn't really understood why Helge did those things. Helge thought nothing of it at the time.

 

 

 

There comes a time when Helge wishes Ulrich would have succeeded in killing him.

 

 

 

The second time Ulrich and Helge truly meet - and hasn't Helge seen that boy around town? Hasn't his heart ached for him knowing where Mads truly was? - Helge is cleaning graffiti off of the asphalt in the parking lot.

No Future.

The moniker is enough to get Helge down.

Helge is thirty nine.

Still, though, sometimes he feels the ghost touch of the man and wakes in his bed at night. And those are the good nights, when he isn't thinking about what happened to the boys and how many more it'll take before they _fix_ it all.

Noah is a calming presence. The only one in Helge's life that gives a damn. At this point, Helge believes in him.

Ulrich is seventeen. Helge doesn't recognize him.

The boy, Mads' brother, walks up to Helge in the parking lot. Helge has to remind himself that Mads will be okay, in the end. That everything will be okay, in the end.

He still cries over the bodies.

"Nuclear pig." Ulrich spits, challenging. He gets right up in Helge's face and pushes the stiff bristled broom from his hand.

Helge doesn't say anything. Tries to withdraw but the boy grabs his arm. The gesture makes Helge afraid.

"Come on, what does an ugly fucker like you have to say?" The boy grins madly. "ET motherfucker."

There's something like grief behind it but Helge barely sees it for how afraid he feels.

He blinks dumbly and ducks his head. In doing so he tries to hide his ear. It's an ingrained gesture.

"Aw fuck, are you trying to hide?" The boy bullies.

He shoves Helge in the chest hard and Helge goes down.

Helge starts crying then, surreptitiously.

"This fucking town. All you fucks!" The boy rages.

Helge can't disagree with the sentiment.

It's never been a good place for him either.

The boy presses a hand viciously into his eyes like he's about to cry, angles away from Helge.

"I-it'll get better." Helge says weakly, "one day."

Him and Noah are working on it.

Ulrich leaves at that.

Helge can't help but think that the boy's around the right age.

 

 

 

Helge pointedly steers Noah away from Ulrich when they see him in the woods one day.

Mads is a sweet soul. And Helge is going to get him back. Until then though, he can't bear to cause the boy's family anymore pain.

 

 

 

Everything goes to shit. Helge learns little boys aren't _needed_. Him being a little boy when it happened was only incidental.

It's that Noah _likes_ little boys.

Helge has helped him _murder_. There had never been any intention of going back and fixing things.

It's a personal betrayal - Noah wasn't ever his friend, hadn't ever considered him family - but more than that boys have lost their lives. Helge remembers them all, every single one.

His mind lingers on Ulrich, he makes himself think about the sheer amount of pain in the boy's eyes.

Helge has done that to every single family.

To every single boy.

He hates himself. For years, he never stops.

The loop passes and there isn't anything he can do. Suddenly the old man in the woods, at the cabin accosting him, makes sense.

It makes him think about the first time. With the rock and the man with a face like rage.

And even Helge has heard the joke - Is it really such a bad idea if no one comes to the future to stop you?

That's twice.

Helge wishes he were dead. That the time traveler's hadn't failed.

He means to kill himself. Only in a turn of events he's asked to take in relative, a young boy. So he does and Peter becomes his son.

The self loathing doesn't ever truly leave though.

He watches the town around him grow up. He watches Mads' family. One day he swears he sees Eric, even if he's years younger Helge would know his face and that shock of orange hair anywhere.

Ulrich stays angry for a long time.

He doesn't seem to remember Helge at all, he never speaks to him again.

Until one day his son goes missing.

Mikkel.

Helge knows it wasn't him. He wonders how Ulrich found out. The man bursts into his room and shakes him down. Grabs his arms hard enough to bruise.

It snaps into place.

Ulrich's the man that has been haunting Helge's entire life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Ulrich

 

 

 

The first time Ulrich sees Helge he's a little boy.

It's hard to miss the man with his battered and mangled ear. Ulrich points and his mother slaps his hand down.

Ulrich is the little boy and Helge is the man in this scenario. Helge's obviously used to stares and gawking because he doesn't notice Ulrich at all.

All the kids know about Helge. How a big, bad man drug him into the woods one day and that's why they shouldn't be out later than the streetlamps.

As Ulrich gets older the tale changes, gets embellished. Other kids wiggle their eyebrows lewdly and ask what else the big, bad man did. They giggle and say things right behind the man's back. In stores, on the street, anywhere they find him.

Ulrich can't feel sorry for anyone that doesn't defend themselves. He doesn't try.

Mads happens and everything turns to shit. When people say, 'it should have been you' Ulrich agrees. It never should have been Mads. It hurts to think about. Makes Ulrich so angry he wants to punch the shit out of a wall.

It's also why he doesn't want to go further with Katharina. He's worried he can't be gentle, that his hamfisted grip will ruin everything. And - he doesn't deserve to feel pleasure.

Not while Mads is -

Ulrich doesn't know where Mads is.

He pretends he doesn't care.

Takes it out on everyone and he can't seem to help it. He defaces public property, collects dead animals and listens to screamo music on loud.

He sees Helge cleaning up after him - and everyone is always cleaning up after him - and gets irrationally angry.

It doesn't matter that it's the man's job.

Ulrich's _mean_ , watches tears clump in the man's fine eyelashes and feels a pulse of _something_.

It's the fucking town. Ulrich is sure of it.

"I-it'll get better." the man stutters and it makes Ulrich want to press him down into the dirt and make him kiss the ground. "One day."

It also makes Ulrich want to cry.

 

 

 

Ulrich knows Helge, but he doesn't know his name. He doesn't think about him a lot - but sometimes he does.

And of course the man turns out to be his partner's father in law.

Turns out to be Mikkel's _killer_.

He accosts him at the nursing home. Remembers his fine eyelashes and wants to destroy every semblance of the man's treacherous beauty.

Somehow, after they throw him out and Ulrich stumbles blindly in the woods in an incoherent rage, he finds the way back.

Sixty six years back.

It feels like destiny, like somehow he'd always be here, always be drawn to _Helge_.

The boy's as tiny as a mouse. Fragile as if one of Ulrich's fists could crush him. Ulrich thinks of Mikkel's face and it must show because little Helge is immediately unsure of him. Immediately terrified.

Ulrich has to chase him down, but his strides are so small it's inevitable.

Ulrich swears the boy weighs less than forty pounds.

He smashes his head open with a rock.

And he's crying while he does it. Still crying when he's in a jail cell.

Helge doesn't die.

That's probably the moment Ulrich breaks down.

 

 

 

He ends up getting out because of an old woman named Claudia who convinces them she's a war doctor or a psychological authority come to take him away or something. She tells him she's Regina's mother.

"I know you don't believe me, but you need to stay away from Helge Doppler." she says, "You need to go back to your own time and let me fix things."

 

 

 

It's a foregone conclusion that Ulrich doesn't.

The he goes back to 1986.

For _Helge_ _Doppler_.

Mads is already dead. He can't change that. But Mikkel he can save.

He waits at Helge's cabin. Knows he will never forget the man's name again.

Helge gets home late.

It's different - seeing him when they're the same age. Helge is only five or so years younger than Ulrich. His fine eyelashes still fan his pale cheeks.

He stutters to a stop when he sees Ulrich sitting in his chair. He doesn't quite recognize him. Ulrich thinks of how plain scared Helge was in the nursing home and thinks it must be context. Now that Ulrich knows what he's done.

"The door was open." Ulrich explains.

Helge is nervous and fidgety but he isn't really _scared_. Ulrich is going to change that.

"Are you...a friend of Noah's?" Helge asks.

The slight look of confusion on his face is arresting.

Noah. Ulrich has heard that name before. They're accomplices.

"Yes." Ulrich says and leans back in the chair.

There's a vicious urge to do something - anything - but he tamps it down. He needs be sure - he needs to get them both.

Helge smiles at him, dimly and awkward - _sweet_.

"Would you like some tea? I'm not sure when he'll be here. He didn't tell me he was coming."

Ulrich notices the way the man turns to hide his scarred face. _Good_ , he thinks in satisfaction at the mess. Thinking of the child he'd pummeled though makes him feel a little ill.

"Mikkel." Ulrich states, even though he knows it isn't yet.

"Do you mean Mads?" Helge frowns, something stricken and painful overtaking his features. "Noah always gets their names wrong."

"How many?" Ulrich asks and tries desperately not to give himself away.

"It won't matter." Helge says, "It's just...one more time. We're so close to fixing it. Noah says-"

The words fizzle out and it takes Ulrich a moment to realize it's because of the severe look he's giving him. Helge is heating under his gaze, is uncomfortable and sensitive.

"I've...seen his brother." Helge whispers.

 _You saw me_ , is on the tip of Ulrich's tongue, _and decided to take my son too?_

"When does Noah usually come?" Ulrich asks instead.

He's going to kill them both.

"Whenever he feels. He didn't...tell you?" Helge looks unsure then.

It's one step away from suspicious and Ulrich can't have that, but he doesn't know how to stop it.

Helge's eyes get wide, he's only just now catching his mistake.

"w-who.." he begins.

And Ulrich's thin and taut line of control snaps. He's going to show Helge exactly _who_.

Helge - a coward - who puts his hands out in front of him, and already they tremble, when Ulrich stands up.

He doesn't even try to run. Stands frozen. Ulrich grabs him by the collar, jerks him forward before shoving him back.

Helge lands wrong against the edge of a coffee table. Ulrich's on him before he can draw another breath.

When he draws his arm back to hit - it's then that Helge _really_ knows who he is.

Helge whimpers and pisses himself - Ulrich can feel the warmth spreading between them - before he even does anything.

The first hit - and it's not glancing, not hesitant - knocks Helge out cold. Ulrich feels cheated by that, but not enough to _stop_.

He hits him and keeps hitting - over and over again. His hand is in agony but still - he continues. It isn't just Helge's face either. When that's bloody enough Ulrich thumps on his chest, his shoulders, his neck.

It isn't going to be enough.

But there's a knife, on the end table.

It's a bread knife.

Ulrich's ears buzz and everything shrinks down to that one moment when he slides the knife in.

The feel of it, the thick drag, is unexpected - makes him feel sick. So he doesn't get it in Helge's chest very far before he's wrenching it out, leaving a tail as it comes out at the wrong angle.

The second time he expects it. He's about to plunge the knife in when it happens.

Something knocks into his from behind.

He fights, of course, expecting it to be Noah.

But it's only himself.

There's a moment where his mind can't comprehend it.

It isn't like looking in a mirror. It's like seeing yourself but seeing yourself _wrong_.

"Mikkel is alive." Ulrich says.

Ulrich can't speak.

"See for yourself. He's in town."

The other Ulrich takes the knife and slides it under the couch, out of view.

If it were anyone but himself, Ulrich wouldn't believe it.

The new Ulrich cradles Helge's head, presses a hand against his chest to stem the blood.

Ulrich stumbles outside. His head is too noisy, he can't think. But he makes it into town.

Somehow, he doesn't know how, he finds Mikkel. Mikkel doesn't see him. Mikkel is smiling, and there's a nurse beside him. Ulrich is just about to burst forward but something stops him.

It's himself, as a boy. He remembers the letter jacket and the hair, the attitude and the grief. They're going to meet on the street - him and Mikkel. The nurse ducks away into a shop and Mikkel waits on a bench outside.

Then Ulrich - young Ulrich - comes along and calls him Mikael.

It's not quite bullying but it's close. He teases him about showing up at his house, tells him to mind his own fucking business and never bring him up with Egon again. That he'd kill himself the day he had a son like Mikael.

Mikkel's hands retreat self consciously into his sleeves and the boy sniffles.

Mikkel. Mikael.

It's incomprehensible.

There's only one way to save him. And that's to bring him home. Ulrich will be damned if he lets his boy kill himself. He buries the guilt of Hannah. He hadn't known. It's his only defense and a lousy one. But he hadn't _known_.

Just as he's about to burst forward on the scene Claudia's long, thin fingers wrap tightly around his arm.

"Mikkel will never forgive you, if you bring him home now."

"He's a child - he doesn't know what's best for him!" Ulrich sneers and makes to shake her off.

The nurse finishes her business and then her and Mikkel are on their way again. Ulrich moves to chase them but Claudia gets in his way.

"Did you even think of Jonas?" she asks.

He hadn't.

"It doesn't matter, maybe the boy shouldn't exist. I'm bringing Mikkel home."

"Mikkel had a choice." Claudia says, stern and solemn, "and he chose Jonas."

"I don't care."

"I promised I wouldn't let you interfere."

It's the last thing Ulrich hears before everything goes dark.

 

 

 

He wakes up in 2019. He doesn't know how he knows he just does. There's a note stuffed in his pocket. It's aged, but mostly untouched.

 _Father_ it reads and Ulrich's hands tremble _I forgive you. It took me a long while to accept my fate. Living along side you and mom. I forgive you for Hannah. I choose to believe she loves me. What she feels for you - I'm letting go of that resentment. Claudia suggested I write this, as well as multiple contingencies. She found me a little after Jonas was born. Together, we pieced all of what was going to happen. I love you and mom and Magnus and Martha but I had to let you all go long ago. It must feel fresh for you and I'm sorry. I'm asking you to let me go. Above all, Jonas must survive. I love him, he is my son. I beg you to think of me, think of Mads, and spare me the loss of Jonas. He must survive. I can't explain but I hope you will trust me._

_These matters are so delicate, I must trust Claudia gets this to the proper Ulrich. There's one more thing I must discuss with you. The matter of Helge Doppler. You are not to hurt him. You are not to kill him. He doesn't deserve it. He's not what you think. I have my suspicions and all the gamblers at the table are hoping for the pot. Claudia believes we can change it, although I have my reservations. It must sound impossible to you, where you are. Know that, even now, I am arranging my hand._

_I am asking you to trust me._

_Love,_

_Mikkel/Mikeal_

For a long time, Ulrich cries.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
